Fur Baby Butterfly Mama

Bringing to light my affections refined

When I think of motherhood and the way its defined

Your heart full of kindness and nurturing by design

As you tend to our family

A virtuous wife and caregiver of canine

As our children are they, our Maddie and Lola like daughters

In the recurring cost of love, wet dog food, and fresh store bought gallon waters

Day in and day out as Maddie cuddles with us in our bed

We fall asleep and you wake up at times with her on your head

Even as you leave for work in the early hours of the morning dawn

She sleeps on your pillow lulled by your scent and keeping it warm while you’re gone

Whimpering and whining at the door to greet

Either grandpa or you in the hopes of a treat

Frustrated at times and impatient with her you may shout even though she can’t hear

Still you stay beside her to comfort her amid the confusion of the silence that may cause her to fear

Now even Lola as she gets older seems to develop the same

As you take them outside to potty and you attempt to call her name

Snappy she’s become at times in her old age cranky as her mother

Yet even so I wouldn’t trade our family for any other

Rambunctious still in moments of play, ever ready to bark at everyone who’s a stranger

Yet calm when held, so dissipates our fearless guard dog, and the illusion of danger

Side eyeing rebel, grandma’s lap thief, and blanket burrowing mole

You are their mother and you tend to them as to children with your heart and your soul

As they save place in your heart for your offspring in heaven that you’ll one day see

But until then you are a mother to them and a beautiful wife to me…

Where I Belong

6 years today, a scripted vow
I love you’s spoken
These actions are still learning how
Hearts mended from the ways they’ve broken

What is commitment commemorated on this day
But a moment to think and reflect on what we say

Beyond the utterance of the poetics
But marriage authenticated by follow through
In the midst of all the imperfect aesthetics
Shortsighted as I’ve been, blind to the blessing that is you

Another verse of honesty
Intimacy refined to fortify integrity
Honor is a call I’m learning to live
In the day to day ways to you I give

Through all the pitfalls, accidents and financial strains
In every trial still our love remains

In sickness and in health, we bridge the gap of the void
Through all the turbulence suffered and moments we’ve enjoyed

Back pain, heartache, bad habits, and the dread of mundane routine
We keep moving forward to realize all the more the hope of our every dream

Whether of our own house or a borrowed season amid our long
Anywhere you are is home to me, because in your heart is where I belong

Closeness preserved despite the wedges that try to drive there way in
Mercy, compassion, and understanding, in the lessons of failure and redemption

You are my best friend through it all
My confidant and comrade in spiritual arms
More than just a fleeting passion or honeymoon phase
More than vanity or surface charms
You are a beacon of hope in my darkest days

Generic as these words feel, inadequate to express
How thankful I am to have you despite the ways I’ve been a mess

You are the stint of every fracture of the past
As God aligns our values and resets our bones in a one flesh cast

As we out love and live down every sin, of fathers, or lovers that proved a fraud
With every passing moment we draw on grace and submit ourselves to God

Even as I am one that at times has let you down
You’re still the one I love and one of the greatest treasures that I’ve found

Happy anniversary amid the growing pains of love reborn as we journey onward to another year
No matter what life brings us, as long as there is breath in my lungs, I’ll always be right here…

Bazinga Punk

You call it just another day

But I know that it is so much more

As God fashioned you in your mothers womb

All the plans He had in store

When every year we celebrate the gift of life

You were born for so many things and among them to be my wife

Aiming to convey how special you are to me

Your beauty and your virtue draws out the husband that I am called to be

The foresight of the Father, prophetic to foretell

As you were created

A gift given to the earth

A gift in my life as well

Our love crafted and stated

On this day that marks our union and your birth

One day to remember and never be forgotten

Happy Birthday now and forevermore

On this day, your life is our love begotten

I die to myself for love’s sake, because you’re worth dying for

A new year and chapter to begin again

I love you more, bazinga punk, I win…

You Are My Thought Life

This is love past the confines of fantasy
I cant dream your extravagance on my best day
But you are my dream come true on my darkest night
Even as you love me at my worst

Endurance finds patience and mercy is key to bringing out the best in me
And you're my inspiration to keep on going
In the moments I wanted to quit on my own
God sustained me for knowing I would find you

And you're the light at the end of the tunnel
Ever brighter as love proves to be the death of me
Where selfishness takes its last breath
Every day I die to be resurrected in light of you

I am a broken seed reborn in the soil of our small beginnings
Consumed by thoughts of you and a lifetime too short to count them
You outshine the stars and outlast the light of day
It's as if I've died and gone to heaven only to realize heaven is you...

The Defects of Persective

Hear me out, not in word
But what actions interpret
When love is multilingual
Of gift, deed, and touch

Translations searching
In the dialect that resounds
Truest to you
Full time efforts to make a living
And keep the ship afloat
When it’s sink or set sail
But the helm is feral as the fires of hell

Tame me with silence
Till every word tells true
It’s everything I have to offer
When the currency of the heart is blood
And every beat is time placing bid on us

I'll place the highest I can
When vows pledge a life
Yet every breath shortchanges priceless
Oh that I could be but a glimpse of what you mean to me
And loving you deeper than you've been hurt
Would tip the scales in your eyes to reaffirm self worth

When you and I are the same
In the defects of perspective
The only lack we know is in what we see
And if it's any indication of how much I love you
Than find confidence in knowing the way I feel about you
Is just as true as the way you feel about me...

Pulsing Floorboards

Should I spare you the details of my humanity?
Or is love most beautifully displayed when it hurts
Accused of boundaries compromised
I'll take sides against me when my eyes prosecute

Love is on trial by fire in the cases made against my heart
When integrity comes into question on the premise of bad apples
Where even sweet is bitter when fear goes to war with trust
I'll give you no reason to doubt me and leave nothing in the dark

For accountability's sake
As I clear my conscience and pry corpses from beneath the pulsing floorboards
Am I wrong not to preserve the illusion of being anything more than just a man?
And are we so lost to find that greatness is a myth

In the context of the ways we have been compromised
When true love is not the absence of flaw
But faithfulness despite ugly tendencies

What am I first to be the convict of?
Whether evidence finds me guilty of capability
Or the love that disarms me
And the mistakes I'll never make on account of my devotion to you...

There’s No Such Thing As A Lost Cause

I lost my words in the erasures
Shed the weight of heaviness
With dead skin like the shell of a former heart
Walls dismantled by the lungs of a new born cry
Children are the milestones of letting dead dogs lie

Hope resurrected in the eyes of innocence
Fresh vision on the shores of youthful tides
Learning how to dream again
If the test of love is time, the young come to our aid to cheat death
And reinvigorate the passion to remind us why we breathe

Finding purpose all over again
Do we raise the children or do they raise the dead?
As we bury the skeletons of yesterday and resurrect our dreams
Our hearts are a shackle worth bearing
Anchored to desire

I found harbor in a new hope that gives life meaning
We are a reoccurring lifetime with hand-me-down wisdom's to impart
Forging our way through the wilderness
Making home in a place of desperation

Contending onward till we conceive the offspring of our efforts
No cause is lost if there is a fool to fight for it
I guess we're just compatible fools willing to fight for each other...

Beyond Pretense

worn out, the withdrawals of another life
bitterness finds his hands take from you
bearing the joy and the burden of love and wreckage
pouring ourselves into the mold of us

finding the balance between desire and compromise
no one is selfish we are all just broken lovers learning how to love
launching beyond pretense and preconceived ideas
I love you for you are and not who you think I want you to be
you're worth every sacrifice to me

don’t stop breathing and pass away with yesterday
when you've got the rest of your life to live
love was never about changing anyone
just accepting ourselves
and becoming who we never knew we were

it's safe to say I never knew who I was until I fell in love
only then I discovered me when I found you...

Legacy

Humble beginnings finds us here
Legacies born in the eyes of the young
We run parallel races
Side by side, separate and together

Destiny's in collision
Forging bonds and bloodlines
What is another's offspring
But the foreshadowing of our own
More than just a house we're building
Blueprints in our hearts for home

Love makes all the difference
Salvaging what's left of the dying breed
Bearing the burdens of beauty and sacrifice
We are the mothers and fathers of the next generation in need
For love we wage our wars, for the future we die, for the future we bleed
Rehabilitating humanity, praises in the cries of the unborn seed

Conceived of desire
Our dreams come alive in the pulse of infancy
Expectant to an end began, the ongoing story foretold of intimacy
Learning what it means to tie knots and extend family ties
The light of our dawning day, where vision begins is where darkness dies

Laying off the former torments of counterfeited love
And the horrors of trusts betrayed
Another chance to get it right
A legacy remade...

Redeemed

Road blocks on my journey
Seeking to utter something to convey
All I've yet to learn about love
More than just something beautiful I say

Face to face I confront the affliction
Of everything that swells inside
When you are broken I am broken
Even before ceremony you are my bride

One flesh, every moment reaffirms connection
Courting towards a date to make conviction true
My heart conflicted by its ways
Reborn in light of loving you

Pure sacrifice in the making
From crooked origins redeemed
I craved you before I touched you
You are the one of whom I dreamed

Threaded of the divine
Knit into the fabric of the Son
Whether chosen or prearranged by God
To me you are the one...

Faith In 2020 (Part 2)

when did healing ever come
by way of guilt tripping the wounded
and who's wrong and who is right
unbridled desire, un-tamable fire
and I cant help but want you

yet craving is poison
when reduced to a fix
and I speak love on the lips
of a counterfeit

oh I am the beam in my own eye
obstructions of divinities view
and I cant see God quite so clearly
when loving the unseen
is in the way I feel I fail to love you

I choke on my own tongue
my fountain of conviction and indecision
calibrate a way towards destiny
as I utter detours to pit falls

can we salvage the journey
and love conquer the death in my heart
as I shed the weight of my flesh
everyday I am the burden I crucify
life is its own sacrifice to survive
and you're the only reason that I'm still alive

hope to regulate the heartbeat
when a life with you is a life worth living
I don’t want to wake up from a dream come true
lest reality comes with blindsides
and I'm lost for the words that cost me you

scale my heart against yours, I fail to compare
don’t give up, no matter how hard it gets
I'll always be, will you be...there?

Faith In 2020 (Part 1)

oh duality of passions
love is in the fight as much the embrace
when every disagreement says I care
and we'll come to terms with it
realizing how much so

when lives are in the balance
somewhere between chance
and meant to be
forging legacies together
part 1 of our journey towards a lifetime

if only foresight was 20/20
and we could perfect clarity in a year
calibrating dreams and vision
till reality bears some semblance to
a more beautiful way to breathe

it took 12 years to come full circle
and find someone I never knew I knew
if I knew then what I know now
I wouldn't have waited to fall in love with you...

Broken Butterfly (Part 2)

brittle wings in a twister
obstructing flight from a to b
thrown off track
reflecting on you
coming to terms with me

in light of you
these parallels I see
haunted by desire
this is where I want to be
settled within unpredictability

the adventure of you
I journey into the depths
separately together
reform, redefine, identity...

Broken Butterfly

what is love
but the slow and steady ruin
of the ideals of romance
intimacy begins
where fantasy dies
acquiring a taste

beyond the way it feels
but the choice to remain
relationship is both
the pain of pleasure
and the joy of pain

abandon reason
we are fools committed to fools
I feel lost when I am found
in the disillusionment of us
and rediscovery finds
to know anyone
is the disenchantment of perfection

for the excitement of
the beautifully flawed
like symmetry gets hazy in the details
butterfly disaffection
temporal glories fade for familiarity

what will keep us in the end
but the will to say I do
in the moments it's hardest to
when love is not a matter of falling
but a choice made afresh every day
you are not forgotten
or expendable
despite what the actions
of a former life may say...

Beyond Me

underestimation of a short changed heart
starting over, make true every word, till death do us part
restore the years stolen by a liars love
learning to lead as I live by example the truth I speak of

set up as a new hope for a second chance to get it right
by your side I'll stand, never again alone, your heart's worth the fight

transparent am I giving way as I emulate true loves guiding light
a new days horizon dawns, conflagration of a shadow haunted mind
the stars foretell of the end of night
as sight returns to the eyes of the formerly blind

blood behind your self-perception has tainted the view
if only you could see what I see when I look at you
trading the scars of the afflicted for the healers holes in hand
oh I that would be graced to love you in ways, more than just a man...

Alloy Heart

put my heart in words
every beat speaks your name
as you become my pulse
when love is death
I come alive on the other side
of the end of me

counting moments to memories
these our days of small beginnings
reservations made to make vows
speaking the echo
reinforcing confidence derived
affirming in time
it's not enough to say I love you

apart from the ways that say it every day
I'm an alloy being refined
extracting impurity from a heart of gold
oh that you would know your face
as I see it

till it reflects your beauty back to you
when lovely isn't something
you’re waiting to become
but the very essence of who you are...

Priceless Eyes

i was found
cast away and drowning in a sea of time
I missed you before we met
it took 29 years for my life to begin
as if my lungs never understood
the purpose of a breath
until I was breathing for you

as if we survive to sustain waiting
till life rewards the efforts of staying alive
I was no one till I was yours
and love gave me an identity
never seen till I was revealed in light of you
am I worth my weight in the way you look at me
as I live up to the value your heart bestows on me

appraised by priceless eyes
learning to decipher what you see
knowing my every flaw
and like the grace of God, still
you love me...

An Aunt Is A Mother Too (Dog Mom 3)

 

 

Reflecting once again

The scars that don’t speak for themselves

The unseen ache of what no one sees

The silent tug at the heart

No children to speak of but for our fur babies

Nevertheless an aunt in a lot of ways is like a mother too

And I know you love Khash as if he was our own as much as he loves me and you

You’ve so much affection to give and are just as fit to be what a mother should be

When I think of the ways you work hard for you and me

You’re a caregiver and homemaker in your own way

And deserve just as much to be remembered on Mother’s Day

I know of the past and the children you might have had

And how you can relate to others that may have miscarried

You’ve said at times you wish we could have biological children

But I knew what I was getting into when we got married

I love you so much and I wouldn’t have it any other way

I honestly couldn’t imagine raising kids in the world as it is today

Though others have suggested we might adopt

We both have our reasons for why we do not

Because it gives us our freedom to pursue other things and give each other all that we can

Even though at times I’ve let things get in the way as I learn how to be a husband and a better man

Your resilience bears such stark resemblance to my mom

In that you fight for us at all cost

And even as she said you were the daughter she never had

I know she’d be proud of you too

She raised me by her example of a good woman

To guide me in my love life

To find someone like you

Thank you for being all that you are and bearing with me through all we’ve endured

Happy Mother’s Day, love forever and for always, in action more than just in word…

Dog Mom 2

 

 

As children they are to us

With our affections set

More than just our dogs

More than just a pet

Loyalty wrapped in fur

Stubborn and stingy yet sweet

And I wonder if these are our daughters

Why does one of them lick our feet?

Yet no less we brave the task

As puppy parents we clean up the mess

And all I can say as I pick up the crap

Is that we are truly blessed

Though it seems when I compare the way

As children are our dogs in how they play

Yet not so much when I think

Would I allow my child to chew my socks or put up with the stink?

Even so as I jest

Perhaps they are more human than I give them credit for

When as we feed, groom, and water them

We overspend our budget at the grocery store

Yet what's more motherly than to think

Of the ways you nurture them

In place of those we cannot have as our own

We miss out on nothing

Our dogs complete our family

And make our dwelling place feel

A little more like home

Happy Dog Mom day

One of the truest mothers of two

I can't imagine life without them

Because they are just another part of you...

Beautiful By Association

 

 
Where do I begin again
When the words don't come like they use to
After the thought of all we've yet
And have already gone through

Instrumental in the orchestration
I found myself when I fell in love with you
This life is what we make of it in what we do

More than passing, making meaning of every moment
You are my pulse and life support

Feeling our way around in the dark
Despite all that lays claim to be our loves cessation
Everything is better when I'm with you
Everything is beautiful by association

Gardener, tending to the seasons of my soul
Green thumb and thimble, knit into the scenery
Heart heist, given to the same that stole
Love and cross threads lined within the tapestry

We pride not ourselves in our wounds but in our healing
Despite the ways that sorrow boasts, we glory not in the pain
Cause the sun outshines the darkest nights
And cleansing comes by way of hopes bloodstain

Love stories in the romance of redemption
You are God's personal expression to me of grace
For all the things I've done that aim to squander us
Fade-less are my vows when I look upon your face

More than an image I behold but something that I know
No matter how many times I've fallen, you'll never let me go
A thousand apologies and guilty pleas when I think of all I've done
Mercy extended to reinvest in the best of me after just year one

My vows won't end at words alone
When actions are the best way to amend
Death powerless to separate divine uniting

In your eyes is where I find my home
As I savor every moment with my God send
When you are my reason to keep on fighting

Finding myself when I get lost with you
Beyond touch or just a feeling or sensation
In this world where death lives and darkness prevails
All of this is an illusion when life is beautiful by association

I breathe and you make it all worthwhile
When all this world harbors is matchless to the wonder of your smile...